Normal Tuesday Night…

for Shia LaBeouf.

In case you missed it.

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Another Neighborhood Oddity. This Time It’s Seasonal, or Just Past.

20141217_120412For at least the better part of a year and a half, or maybe as much as two years as I didn’t write down the date of its arrival, the deer shaped archery target in the picture to the right has held fast the position of neighborhood oddity in my already at times peculiar neighborhood. Emblazoned across the part of its body that you would put a saddle if you were a wood elf is the phrase “Do not molest,” above a dollar sign.

I’m a frequent walker along a path through the several park areas that hug Shades Creek; the southern border of my little subdivision. One day the deer was there. No preamble. No explanation. Only the request that you consider the ungulate inviolate.  Continue reading

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Another Tigers Team?

CaptureIt’s true. We face yet another ranked team that calls themselves the tigers. This time they come from the frigid northern land called Missouri. If you are the sort that puts off game time party planning to the last minute, may I recommend a glance at my tailgating post over at rollbamaroll.com. It features a traditional delicacy of this week’s brumal opponents known as toasted ravioli.

We’ve basically been in a playoff since the Ole Miss game. This week is different only in that there is a trophy at the end should we win. Missouri fans have been disturbingly nice and interesting all week. They really do seem to be good people. Join me in hoping we get to talk them of a ledge after the game.

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A Night Game Against Aubren? Calls For Cocktails.

CaptureLet’s face it. The season thus far was prologue. The Boogers are coming with their illegal-man-down-field offense. This week at rollbamaroll.com I reached out to a friend whose cocktail competence eclipses mine and yours. Have a peak, mix a drink, relax, and then yell like hell. It’s the Iron Bowl after all. Unfortunately, do to a clause in the contract ESPN was able to gobble this one up right under CBS’s nose, so we will be Gary and Verne – less. Believe it or not, I was just starting to warm to Gary. I’ve long been a fan of Verne’s non sequiturs. They are the stuff of legend (“What is Brittany doing with her life?). I’m actually going to miss those two. What the hell is going on?

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What I’m Thankful For: Property Rights.

Pocket KnifeAnd I’m not about to go on about a particular prized possession, although I am very fond of my pocket knife. Rather, I’m thankful that Governor William Bradford understood the tragedy of the commons concept way before someone came up with the term “tragedy of the commons.”

I’m decidedly not thankful for the mandolin. I don’t mean the musical instrument. I’m talking about the kitchen slicing device. From it I learned that a knife is faster in the short run and much easier to clean in the long run. Potatoes dauphinoise don’t just happen. Happy Thanksgiving, all.

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In Case You Forgot About Game Day Tomorrow

Screen Capture Lamb PastaI couldn’t exactly blame you if you did. The great and mighty Catamounts of West Carolina may not be our most challenging opponents, but they were willing to be ritually slaughtered for a big check and that commends them to me greatly. Head on over to rollbamaroll.com for analysis and whatnot. You may even find my latest tailgating post over there. Did I forget to mention that? Braised lamb over Rigatoni. Enjoy and Roll Tide.

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There is Nothing Wrong With Our Republic.

The chief executive merely decided to usurp powers he, and a notable other, once ascribed to the the legislative branch whilst in the shadow of a place called Caesars Palace. Said some idiot in 2011:

“With respect to the notion that I can just suspend deportations through executive order, that’s just not the case. Because there are laws on the books that Congress has passed. And I know that everybody here at Bell is studying hard so you know that we’ve got three branches of government. Congress passes the law. The executive branch’s job is to enforce and implement those laws. And then the judiciary has to interpret the laws. There are enough laws on the books by Congress that are very clear in terms of how we have to enforce our immigration system that for me to simply, through executive order, to ignore those congressional mandates would not conform with my appropriate role as president.”

But enough of complicated legal nonsense. Let’s get to tonight’s realpolitik:

“All we’re saying is we’re not going to deport you.”

It’s tempting to say that this is just another day in the adhocracy, but this is new. Sparklingly new.

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Mississippi State is Coming!

Grill Cheese ScreenshotThey are very, very, good. Number 1 in fact. That makes it all the more awkward that we are 8 1/2 point favorites as of this writing. Who does that inspire? Who is the underdog? I have no idea what happens tomorrow but you can bet I’ll be watching. 2:30 CBS with Gary and Verne. If you’re hungry, here’s a link to my weekly tailgating piece over at rollbamaroll.com. I was a poor poster last week and neglected to share my LSU hot wings post, but it can be found here.

20141108_183933As long as we are talking about last week, I was on the fifty, twenty rows up, and happy as all hell as long as we are talking about the first half, the last minute of the second half, and overtime. But since we won, that’s all I need to talk about.

My real concern about this weeks game is that last week’s slugfest with the corndogs left us too beaten and bruised. That aside, we play the top ranked team in the nation and are favored. Not a bad time to be a fan.

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I’m Watching You, Douglas.

College Football Playoff CommitteeDid Archie Manning run afoul of the football Illuminati? Weeks ago he was ensconced amongst the college football Pharisees, set to pump out the white smoke of mixed metaphors every Tuesday and announce the anointed or anoint the announced, depending on how you read the situation. His alma mater was the undefeated defensive behemoth with a “streaky is a good thing” quarterback, solid wins over ranked Alabama and Texas A&M, and a coach with a realistic possibility of mainstreaming two third sleeves fall/winter wear.

As it stands now Archie Manning faces multiple medical procedures, his team has dropped two straight games (both to teams whose mascot is a tiger which may or may not hold meaning) and surrendered any hope of non-Independence Bowl post season glory. I am not a statistical pool, but I have received several Christmas oriented catalogues and all have been quite firm on the full sleeve winter wear front. What went wrong?

If you are a reasonable person, you blame natural wear and tear associated with aging, running up the middle, goal line broken left legs, and natural reduction in temperature as the Earth stretches the limits of its Newtonian relationship with the sun and human forearm reaction to the same. A non-reasonable person might ask why all this hit poor Archie all at once and suspect foul play.

Is there a conspiracy against him? Continue reading

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Some Bye Week Pizza

RBR Pizza ScreengrabThis week is bye week, but we are still fans and fans have needs, like the need for sustenance. I’ve posted this weeks tailgating piece over at rollbamaroll.com. Check it out, make a mess of your kitchen and enjoy. There’s plenty of football on this weekend even if my beloved Crimson Tide has an off week. If we are to get to the SEC Championship we need Ole Miss to drop a game. I’m currently sitting on the couch with a stiff adult beverage girding myself for this evening’s unpleasant business. I have to root for the barners tonight in Oxford. I’ll be needing a few more stiff adult beverages.

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