mightstainyourshirt.com Ombudsman: As We Approach Post #100, A Retrospective Experience

I really never thought I’d get this far without a nipple slip. When I began, lo five months ago, I assumed I would be posting at least once a day with tiny links to funny things or funny links to tiny things pepped throughout. Boy was I sort of right.

I conceived my regular “Some Things of Interest” with Jay Nordlinger’s “Impromptus” and Spencer Hall’s “Curiosities and Ruminations” which later became “The Curious Index” in mind. I like a series of ideas, rhetoricals, and musings that may or may not be developed later. Links to oddities that have no place in a larger article but need to be mentioned because Omg! Leather! must be celebrated. Instead “Some Things of Interest” has become a collection of things that amuse me, posted when I have collected at least three items I can capably write a paragraph about. Job #1 is to get back to the Nordlinger/Hall model (together at last) of short blurby type things with cool bullet points.

Recipes: There are those that do them better and with more elan. I’ve never been a recipe maven. Rather, I look at a picture of food and wonder what I can throw together to recreate the flavor that that picture makes me crave. I’m not stupid. Usually. I will occasionally follow a recipe if a) I’m trying something completely new, or b) I have made, let’s say haggis, so many times that complacency might have blinded me to innovation. Suppose I find a recipe that calls for duodenum when I’ve been a colon guy for years. I’ll try the higher intestine, if for no other reason than to confirm that stuffing the lower portion was right all along.

I read recipes and cookbooks all the time, but with an eye toward adapting it to my tastes. I hope that my recipes are read that way. If I put in a ton of jalapeno, you don’t have to follow suit. The only time I should be followed to the letter is when I am making a tomato based sauce because I’m better than you in that regard. If that’s not obvious to you immediately, you need my help all the more. Job #2 is to relegate recipes from star to support. No idea how.

Wine is so boring to read about. Cabernet Sauvignon #1: “Hints of cassis on blackberry. Vanilla, rather than smoke, from new American oak, dominates the mid, with notes of chocolate on a raspberry finish. Stands up to steak but would be ideal with roast game.”

Cabernet Sauvignon #2: “Hints of blackberry on cassis. Smoke, rather than vanilla, from new American oak, dominates the mid, with notes of raspberry on a chocolate finish. Stands up to roast game, but would be ideal with steak.”

Which do you prefer? I can’t get a damn thing from the average wine review, but I don’t despair because there are those that can pull it off, so it must be worth trying. Job #3 is to stick to quick impressions when describing my perceptions of wine (“Heavy,” “Crisp,” “Plebian”) and describe the classic profiles of the varietal/style instead with a heavy dose of why; i.e. local diet, climate, history, Parker told them, etc…

The Cookbook of the Month is so broken that I ask you merely to look at your watch or discover a discolored patch of carpet that needs your immediate attention as I babble on about things that never happened and probably never will.  I like the idea of a monthly cookbook. Period. I’m not changing a thing. Yes. I know that’s still April’s cookbook up there on the banner. What?

Did you say football? I don’t feel bad about a lack of football content as it is the off season. I did let that Bobby Patrino thing go by, which may be indicative of deeper flaws. As an offering of apology and an attempt to assure you that I am plugged in to NCAA absurdity, I link this. As it is the off season, I need to do a better job of linking to Fulmer Cup news. Here is the latest.

I have a belief that virtuous societies are by necessity hypocritical. As what you idealize becomes harder to achieve with regularity, you must make allowances for our human tendency to fall short while maintaining that the ideal is reachable and worth striving for. For example, as a parent, I tell my son that if he says he is going to do something, he has to do it. I understand that he will fall short many, many times. That doesn’t mean that I will soften my stance. He should strive despite odds. In this spirit of acceptable and admirable hypocrisy, I promise to post more often. I promise to craft a more cogent blog. I promise to bring in more subject matter and simultaneously do what I said in the last sentence somehow. I promise to somehow come out from under this massive and awesome amount of work that has landed on me in the last few weeks with time to post. Should be easy.

 

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5 Responses to mightstainyourshirt.com Ombudsman: As We Approach Post #100, A Retrospective Experience

  1. Pursue on! says:

    I had no idea that you could make haggis out of colon!!! I alwaysThought it was encased in a stomach- who knew!?!

    • Ben says:

      You are new to the blog and I can see why this might be confusing. Rule #Trumps All Others: If popular opinion is funnier than truth, popular opinion trumps truth. Haggis is made from intestines, Corvairs kill, and Fat Elvis rules.

  2. emmycooks says:

    Well, that’s very nice of you to say. I FAR prefer the first cab, by the way. Maybe with a nice vegetarian corn dog.

  3. I appreciate the mentions! Your blog is always a great read. You’ve gotta respect anyone who can manage to talk casually about duodenum.

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