I have waited on Bea Arthur, ass-grabber. I have waited on Cyndi Lauper, wrestling enthusiast. I wrote “enthusiant” first and then backspaced to write “enthusiast.” I regret that decision. “Enthusiant” sounds more elegant and will be used from now on. I have waited on Jayson Williams, basketball shooter. Alabama and NFL legend Bart Starr, avoider of my friend’s father who played linebacker for Auburn, was a regular at my last gig and an true gentleman. Last night was my weekly work-in-a-restaurant night and who should come through the door but T.V.’s S. Epatha Merkerson who played Lt. Van Buren on Law & Order®.
If you have children, syndicated television takes on a new importance. In 2006 and 2007, my son was a wee, hungry, crying mass of ill defined demands that manifested at all hours of the night. Teething came and stirred him up that much more. A decent television show that airs seemingly twenty-four seven is a valuable find. You can’t read a book while pacing and burping, but you can watch an episode of television. I didn’t get to wait on her, but I did thank her for the show that got me through quite a few late evenings. She spat on me and summoned her bodyguards, but I like to think there was a connection.*
*Lies! Damnable and libelous lies. She was very nice and laughed smiled. I hope she comes in again.