Take That, Bainbridge Scholars!

Confluent Kitchen made my day a few days back when she picked me to receive a Liebster Blog Award. Thank you Confluent Kitchen. I only wish I could send this right back. She makes her own cured salmon. She makes her own bacon. She says absurd things, and means them, that no one else would even think of saying: “Mixed some store bought ricotta (because I had neither the time nor inclination to make my own this weekend).” As if that was an excuse.

When you receive a Liebster, you have to perpetuate the Liebster. I’m told I must 1) post the award on my site, 2) I have to disclose five random things about myself, 3) pass the award on to five bloggers that deserve exposure and currently have less than 200 followers. The award is posted above, so on to number 2 (hehe).

1) Bea Arthur grabbed my ass. This may actually be something you already know because I mention it a lot. I was working in a restaurant in Savannah, and her party of six was in my station. Rather than have a written dessert menu, we delivered an oral presentation. It was long. Bea had trouble hearing and so I stood right next to her with her arm around me and her hand on the small of my back. I kept blathering about trifles and triple chocolate this and that and the poor woman’s arm tired. Her hand went lower and lower down my back. At one moment, we both realized were it had arrived. Our eyes met, and she tensed in embarrassment. Thus the grab. Her hand shot up to mid thoracic curve. I got tickets to her one woman show.

2) I have an unhealthy love of college football. There is no such thing as a meaningless game. I’m the one watching Youngstown State vs. Akron on a Wednesday night. My
favorite team, the Alabama Crimson Tide, I regard with a reverence nigh on religious. I love our dictatorial dark lord of a coach, the way we don’t need to actually play offense since our defensive game plan can be summed up as “Remove all hope.”, and I love that we are, for the second time in three years, the reigning national champions. I don’t want the world to end, but it hasn’t escaped my attention that if the Mayans are right and it’s all over in December, no new national champion will be crowned. It’ll be ours forever.

3) I love Shake n’ Bake. There. I said it.

4) I am allergic to shellfish, an unfortunate thing for someone who is so obsessed with food. This hasn’t always been the case. I used to eat crab and oysters and mussels with gusto. I really miss mussels. I hold out hope that one day I will revert to form. I get an allergy test every year on the theory that if it just happened, it can just un-happen. No luck so far. I’m so close to bringing a bowl of moules meuniere and a bell into my doctor’s waiting room.

5) I am a sci-fi and fantasy fan. Because my wife is the editorial assistant at Pyr publishing to last year’s Hugo Award winning long form editor (wait till I show him my Liebster), when we go to DragonCon, we hang out, eat, and drink beer with authors from all over the country in a pleasingly tax deductible manner. Interesting people all. Providentially, DragonCon is held on the opening weekend of the college football season, sharing Atlanta hotel space with fans coming to see their teams in the Chick-Filet Kickoff Classic. Ever seen a face painted, purple sequined tuxedo wearing LSU fan ask for directions from a Storm Trooper. I have.

Now for blogs that I will nominate, a hard job considering the great blogs I’ve read in the last few months.

Terrified Tastebud – A physician gives up medicine to pursue her dream as a chef. Great food photography, a panoply of dishes, and the occasional hiking trip for scenery. Read this site for no other reason (there are many other reasons) than to see the progression of subject matters a chef in training follows from the point of view of a trained scientist. Her post on baguette making is still one of my favorites because it breaks things down so well.

Domestic Diva M.D. – Hilarious stories about embarrassing moments? Got em. That’s the hook, but the recipes are world class.

emmycooks – I love the pictures, I love the food, I love the originality, but if all of those attributes suddenly disappeared, I would still read for the straightforward prose. She has an honest, authoritative voice without being preachy:

“The recipe admonishes you to roll the dough paper-thin.  And when you say paper-thin, I say pasta roller.  That did actually work quite well, but I will also share that the much thicker rounds that my three-year-old rolled out by herself were equally delicious and only marginally less crispy.  So this is not a fussy dough.”

I think every blogger tries to find a voice. It’s enviable, consistent, and that was just plucked from the most recent post.

The Hungry Irishman – I’ve looked at so many menus this guy has put together. Impressive. Also impressive? He decided to learn to tattoo on his own leg and it looked like this. If I were even to attempt such a thing, considering the pain alone, it would at best look like this.

The Blissful Adventurer – I’m new to this blog, but it has two very big things going for it: a six part post on coming of age in a foreign land that is one of the most engaging posts I’ve read since I’ve started blogging, and the fact that if you just glimpse the author photo he put in the top right of his blog he looks like Doctor Cox from Scrubs. As other photos on his blog will show, he doesn’t really look like Dr. Cox, but dude. That one shot is him. It can’t just be me.

I think that’s it. Thanks again to the Confluent Kitchen for the compliment. Please keep in mind, that when you finally decide that I am an idiot and call me out for my transgressions, I saved a complementary clip from your blog and will throw it back in your face.

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7 Responses to Take That, Bainbridge Scholars!

  1. When I read my excuses for using store bought ricotta, they seem flimsy to me too. *SIGH* Keep up the awesomely funny blogs. Had no idea you’d been groped by Bea Arthur too. We should start a club.

  2. That tattoo isn’t so bad, don’t sell yourself short. And thank you so much, for the kind words.

  3. Ben,
    1st of all your praise for my recent post on coming of age was such a wonderful shot in the arm tonight. Then just like a great author you tore me down hard on the comparison to Fire Marshal Bill up there. I have never been a huge fan of my muted smile but I will most certainly take it over Doctor Cox there 🙂
    I have now received the whole gamut of blogger nominations and I do not take them lightly so I hope you will forgive me if it takes me awhile to get to the post. I am honestly flattered you chose me and more excited that you enjoy my work. It is feedback from readers and honest writers like you that provide the fuel for my long term goals of earning a few pence at this game.
    Thank You Very Much Ben!
    Michael

  4. emmycooks says:

    Well, that is so nice of you to say! Thank you very much for the compliments. I enjoy your writing for pretty much the exact same reasons–which is NOT at all to imply that I think you share my sole blogging qualification of having thought for a few weeks in junior high that I was definitely going to be a creative writer someday. And your food-world experiences exceed mine by a mile as well. And I like your blog because it’s funny. So thanks for returning the compliment that I meant to give you!

    Thanks also for the introduction to some good new blogs. I love Deb’s already but I look forward to checking the others out.

  5. Pingback: Add T.V.’s S. Epatha Merkerson to the list. | mightstainyourshirt.com

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