I can see in my mind the anchormen and women of America gleefully reporting the irony. “A man in Las Vegas suffered a heart attack today in a restaurant called,” pause, smirk, tilt head ” The Heart Attack Grill.” After reading the menu, I’m assuming the parking lot maintains a fifteen to one old pickup to dented Camaro ratio. “In the can.” Get it? Did I mention that customers over 350lbs. eat free? Unfortunately, though the proprietor calls himself “Dr. Jon,” the waitresses all dress as nurses, and the customers are all given hospital gowns, no one had any actual medical training. They did have a phone, and thanks to a 911 call, the unidentified man survived his dinner. The offending meal? A six thousand calorie burger called the Triple Bypass. Fifteen slices of bacon, three hamburger patties, onions, cheese, and what appears to be Thousand Island dressing. I will assume he had the lard fried fries as a side. I have no issues with occasional unhealthy indulgences. I do have a problem with this burger. Look at it. How the hell do you eat it. I have the same issue with so called “Dagwoods.” What’s the point in putting something like this together when it’ll have to be dismantled to have any hope of fitting into someones mouth. If you are that big a glutton, order three burgers.
This is an interesting article on the origins of “British food” as a slur. London is currently a culinary trendsetter and anyone who has ever read a Victorian novel not written by Dickens knows that the gentry could lay out an impressive sounding table if guests were expected. But the term English food (it always conjures boiled meat for me) is never meant as a complement. Apparently, the reason that British food is perceived as boring and tasteless can be blamed, as with so many other things, on the Germans. The Kaiser got greedy. Food was rationed. Talented cooks went to war and many never came back. Amazingly, per the article, the rationing lasted until 1954. Since, Brits have become reacquainted “with ‘exotic’ ingredients like olive oil, garlic and fresh herbs.” An oddity for which I have no explanation: “British food” means bad but “pub food” means hearty and delicious. We English speakers are usually so consistent. Despite the wartime decline, Anatole, naturally, was never affected.
Holly at Campus Union proves what she always proves: that reading a Holly Anderson article is both edifying and a wonderful waste of time. That is not an oxymoron. This time she has bridged two subjects close to my heart in her 2012 Football Mascot Power Rankings: Fruit and vegetable edition. No mention of beets. Hah! That’s what you get shirt stainers!