So babyccinos? Where are all the apoplectic people that banned candy cigarettes? Better yet, where are all the entrepreneurs with the next obvious step: The babytini, stirred, not shaken.
Aside: I will personally lead the charge to ban the grandiose word “barista” from all languages but Italian, it’s proper home. Join the revolution.
Jamie Oliver, pictured right, abandoned his home country to battle obesity in the UnitedStates, callously leaving fellow Brits Stacey Irvine, 17, and Claire Simmons, 33, to fend for themselves as they drown in their respective exclusive diets of McDonald’s Chicken McNuggets and Cheese Pizza. Both ladies are in danger of stroke and heart failure as a result of their diets. While Ms. Stacey “admits she will occasionally vary her food intake – by eating a slice of toast for breakfast or a packet of crisps,” Ms. Simmons actually fears other foods and may have a condition known as selective food disorder. For the record, pizza, as it takes thirty three years to threaten strokes and heart failure, is inherently healthier than chicken nuggets which can get the job done in seventeen years. That’s science.
TCU takes a huge lead in the Fulmer Cup, everyone’s favorite off season competition, with the arrest of four players in a drug sweep involving seventeen students thus far with the promise of more on the way. Along side run of the mill words like “marijuana” sit ominous sounding words like “cocaine,” “ecstasy,” “acid,” and “prescription drugs.” Expect more to charges to come in the next few days. This could be Auburnesque.
I just don’t know what to say to this.