No One at ABC/ESPN Seems to Have Read Homer or Virgil.

Or at least not the Odyssey or the Aeneid. I’m not sure how else to explain their actions.

bama-helmetAround the twenty-ninth minute of last Saturday’s broadcast of the Alabama vs. USC  game they ran a series of graphics. The first, seen to the right, of a helmet with the number fifteen on it was paired with a few lines about how Alabama proved it’s dynastic status with a fifteenth national championship.

When the next graphic popped up, the wheels came off and, if the game crowd everyone else was watching with was anything like the one I was watching with, you and your friends added to the collective laughter as you looked at one another and said “What the hell?”

Continue reading

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Tacos for the USC vs. Alabama Game… A Day Late.

CaptureAt least for this venue. The Rah- Rah football site etc. had it all ready for pre-game degustation. Were I a superstitious person I might suggest that all Alabama fans eat tacos for every meal and nothing else. Yesterday’s 52-6 drubbing was the worst absorbed by USC since their 1966 meeting with Notre Dame where the Trojans were drubbed 51-0.

There was some fun, non taco related trolling post game here. But what does a former coach who was literally left on the tarmac by his school after being fired do when he gets the chance to play said former school? Per Ivan Maisel at ESPN:

On that early-fourth-quarter play, Kiffin sent wide receiver Gehrig Dieter into the game and had Barnett launch it deep. If USC head coach Clay Helton was fuming, he had nothing on Saban’s sideline reaction. Saban went over with his palms out and chastised Kiffin.

Alabama threw one more pass the rest of the game.


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Pre-Season Tailgating Recipes Even Though The Season Is Here

CaptureSo I threw this up with the idea of introducing new readers of the Rah- Rah Football site to the pretended glories that make up RBR Tailgating. I’m posting them here after the season began because… I’m not a good web site caretaker. Sorry about that.

Anyway, this post has a really nice recipe for beef carpaccio and a super savory bone marrow toast spread. Most importantly, and I need to be very clear about this, it does not encourage readers to engage in auto-erotic asphyxiation or heroin use in any way. In fact it goes quite clearly out of its way to discourage the practices.

Happy upcoming football season everybody, even though it’s already underway (52 – 6, if you haven’t noticed.)

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Notes From The Beach, Part Deux

Choppy BeachThe seas were angry that day my friends.

Seriously, they were. I don’t know if you can make it out from the picture, but those waves are running as close to perpendicular to the shore line as I’ve ever seen. Red flags are flying and three year old little boys are rightly asking if we can just play in the pool. Or watch a movie. I’m shocked that this is coming from my keyboard, but God bless Pixar.

There are other angry seas to navigate down here in paradise. Continue reading

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Notes From The Beach

BeachMy favorite beach game – Who Can Spot the Worst Tattoo? – is off to a slow start. There was a man who walked by the pool with the words “Morte Inevitavel” written across his back in some Gothic looking script. I kind of liked the self-referential aspect of putting that phrase on a medium that was dust and will return to dust, but it’s likely some dipshit gang thing.

Another man had a fairly well done Celtic cross. His is currently leading the worst tattoo contest not because of the artistry or questionable taste, but because it was a tramp stamp. On a guy.

For the most part the tattoos have been merely unintelligible cursive nonsense, unoriginal dolphins or armbands, or minor desecrations of the American flag. Still, there have been some interesting people watching moments. Continue reading

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Madison, Real Estate, and Killing Roaches.

As a real estate agent I take a Madisonian view of “shall remain” lists. As has been theRoach Trap 1 creeping habit of agents all over the various cities I work in, offers on property are more frequently including demands that refrigerators and other appliances remain post sale despite the fact that they are listed as features, and thus as part of the home’s advertisement, in the Multiple Listing Service and so by definition part of the sale.

I rankle at addenda stating that chandeliers and bathroom mirrors stay despite the clear, in real estate law, definition of a fixture; that is, that anything that is screwed in or otherwise firmly attached to the house is a legal part of the property being sold. Once you start listing items that are prescribed to be part of the item being sold to be included as part of the item to be sold, you introduce doubt.

“Sure, we know that the ceiling fan, firmly attached to the ceiling and wired into the electrical system, is a fixture, and part of the house, but they listed the dining room chandelier as something that has to stay, even though it’s also a fixture.” the thinking goes. “Does that mean that the ceiling fan is no longer part of the sale?” Continue reading

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A Tailgate Post I Forgot to Link to in Time for The 4th But I’m Finally Getting Around To It, So Lay Off.

I completely forgot to link this which is only important because by posting a link toMac n Ch Capture another site on which I have provided content, I can pat myself on the back and pretend that I have also provided content here.

Who likes Mac ‘n’ Cheese?

Everyone but my nine year old!

The boxed stuff is good, but this labor intensive and considerably more expensive version is even better.

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How Easy Is It To Buy An AR-15?

I bought this one today with no background check.

Nerf AR-15

Fires 9000 rounds per second. When will we learn?


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The Birmingham Zoo Hates Modern Conveniences.

Bham ZooImagine if you will, in Rod Serling’s voice, that you are in a line, a line for admittance to a zoo, a zoo in a suburban setting. You are told by the ticket checker that you may keep your drink, a drink sitting in the cup holder of a Graco brand stroller. “But,” says the attendant, “you have to throw away the straw and lid.”

There are all manner of idiocies that we endure as a matter of course in our daily lives. We rarely question them and are less likely to have the time to do so when parenting. But such is life with a three year old: your zoo experience is either filled cradle to grave with “What’s that,” “Can I have _____?” and “Is that poop?” or with near napping silence.

Silence was mostly the case yesterday, which allowed me a lot of time to pontificate on the subject of straw/lid prohibition. Continue reading

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The Press of the Infinite Black

My wife’s latest short story is up. Enjoy.

Rene Sears

I’m delighted to say that my story “The Press of the Infinite Black” is live at Galaxy’s Edge magazine, available to read now on the internet, or in print or digital from Amazon or B&N.

This story started out as one thing and then morphed over the course of writing it. (This happens to me a lot.) This one started out as the relationship between a girl and her starship computer when everyone else is hibernating, but over the course of writing it, I realized that what she was leaving behind and what she was going to would have more impact on her.

I’m very grateful to Mike Resnick for buying the story. It’s an amazing ToC that I’m honored to be a part of.

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